I had somewhat of an R talk with H this morning. I will admit to breaking the rules and initiaing. I expect to hearing about a loan this week and needed to get some things off of my chest and let him know where I stood.
He says that the financial issues are the problem and that they are unfixable. That I put him in financial ruin and he is going to have to file for bankruptcy. And that he cannot get beyond this because he trusted me and I made a mess.
I validated and told him that I understood he felt that way and that I could see why. I told him that if I could turn back time, I would do things differently. I assured him that I had done nothing wrong and that I needed to learn how to communicate sensitive issues to him.
He agreed to a meeting with our accountant, which I scheduled for next week. I told him that I would have all of the financial informaton present and had nothing to hide. I also let him know that I felt like we could get out of the mess that we are in, that it didn't happen overnight and that it wouldn't be resolved overnight. He is skeptical, but heard me out.
I told him that we both spent more than we should and above our means and that we needed to use a budget. Even though we are both self employed, we know what it takes to keep the lights on. I also let him know that I take 100% responsiblity for what I did wrong in his eyes.
I don't know that this will help, but it is a step. I still see the hurdle as being his lack of acknowlegement that he is part of the problem, and I think that is where I will draw the line at some point. I admitted that I did not tell him when the balances were growing and that I was wrong not to do so.
He also agreed to sit down once a week to review income and expeditures both personally and for the business.
this is some progress, but I don't know if it too late.
M44 H57 D17 (special needs) M 18 yrs Bomb 7/2/12 Still living together
