Wife just filed for divorce...furious and hates me

[MagicJack]

She felt like I was controlling a lot. During the first few days of her leaving me and telling me she didn't want to talk to me I pursued her, sent a bunch of messages, called her up repeatedly, made inquiries as to whether she was with another man, and drove around trying to find her.

After I found DB I stopped pursuing, spoke to a DB counselor who told me to give her the divorce she wanted, and I've been not contacting her other than to discuss the divorce.

Because of this she has become more amiable with me, but not warm. She called me last week Wednesday to tell me that she wanted to say we've been "separated" for purposes of the divorce since last year. She said she could use this date because that was when she started betraying me by talking about me to my family and hanging out with her ex-boyfriend secretly. I could tell she was still hurt about me having referred to her as a cheater and she was throwing it in my face that I had got upset with her about it. I told her in that conversation I did have some anger issues, and that no matter what happened I would never swear at her again (some of our bad fights devolved into name calling). She then told me that I never loved her, we never had anything in common, and she wanted her next mate to have a bunch of qualities that sounded contradictory and impossible.

That night I was feeling nostalgic and I texted her some song lyrics to Train in the Distance, and she said "is that about us?" Then I woke up that night and texted her telling her a story from early in our marriage and when she didn't get I meant it as a joke she didn't like it and told me I was "pissing her off". I then told her to lighten up since I was giving her the divorce she wanted.

We then got into an argument via text briefly (no name-calling but I did tell her that her family was dysfunctional when she told me that I came from a single parent home) and she said I wasn't really changing like I said I was and then I dropped it and said sorry for bringing it up. There was more I wanted to say to her but I held my tongue.

I haven't communicated with her since then other than to tell her that she sent me too much money via bank transfer, to which she said "thx." I also gave her the passwords to a few email accounts she used to have (I was holding onto them since she had my stuff) and she blocked me from Facebook.

I've basically just been trying really hard to detach and not have expectations of her and be polite when I do talk to her about things related to the divorce. I haven't been spying on her or following her. I don't feel the need to correct her version of events anymore, which makes it easier to let go. I also am able to think about the fact she's been lying to me for a long time and hanging out with ex-boyfriends secretly and that makes it easier to detach too instead of obsessing on what I did. She has been polite with me, also. I guess the real test will be down the road if she ever wants to get back in touch with me.