I see what you are saying by pressuring him. Reading how I was pressuring makes me realize that I'm displaying my anxiety to him. You are right I was off by repeatedly asking him how he was...when he said fine I should have left him alone.
I'm constantly curios as to what he's up to in the evenings...but you're right letting him KNOW I am gives him power. I should not ask those questions anymore.
Quote: Be happy with things and accept them just as they are, realizing your H is capable of being grumpy and standoffish, just like he was capable of being as CONSIDERATE as he was last weekend.
I"ve let assumption get the best of me...I take his bad mood as an indication that something is wrong with me or the r. I can't handle not KNOWING what it is!!!! It bothers me that when he is with me...he's so grouchy!!! Is it about me I wonder...is the primary thought in my head.
Quote: Let me ask you this, when your H was really being NICE last weekend and doing things the way you liked, did you at any point "ask how he was cause he looked out of sorts?". My guess is you didn't, SO, just because he's moody, don't do it now either. Play both moods equally..and stick to what works, NO PRESSURE.
So you are saying that if i'm heavy on the ACTING AS IF...both of his moods will not effect me? I'll be the same no matter what mood he's in, is this right? I think I get it.
Quote: Are you doing something FUN today or tonight?
Nothing fun tonight since I have the kids...it's a homework night. Then I'm on my treadmill.
But tomorrow I plan on going out to the movies.
Usually h calls to ask what I'm doing then wants me to come over to spend the night Sunday night. I let him know that the boys and I have the day off Monday to see if he'd like to get together all day then. If not he's to let me know tonight so that I can get out of town for the weekend!
My h also just called to ask if the boys' practice did indeed get rained out. I said yes. He said give the coach my home # so that I can know too what is going on. He said make sure to get a schedule so that I can let work know for sure what days I'm going to be out for the boys' games. Then he said ok, that's all goodbye.
Sometimes it is so hard to talk to him when all he does is talk AT me. No real convo when I would like to talk to him about my day, how things are REALLY going, etc. Maybe someday that will happen. Hopefully sooner than later!!!!
