MyPain, sorry to hear you are joining us in this club. As mentioned above by Cadet, this is typical script for WAS. He hasn't been waiting for years to get the courage, as you said, he has found someone, that is what is giving him the courage. What you need to do is read the DB books, start putting into place some boundaries and protect yourself. If you believe his affair is now physical, then you should stop being physical with him.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.