Window of opportunity or just a mirage

[MrBond]

"I just don't know how long I can hold onto hope."

YOu don't hold on to the idea of hope or have expectations. That's why you're having such a hard time.

"I am in weird place in that I feel that I may be close to having a breakthrough, but I also am having many thoughts of just giving up."

After 6 months? It's going to take more patience than that. If you don't have it, then you should file.

"It would be so helpful to me if I could have a better understanding of what my w is thinking."

You did read DR/DB right? It explains it all.

"It is this "come closer, no go away" kind of feeling my w seems to be projecting. It makes it very difficult to detach."

Why? Detachment has nothing to do with her. It's all you.

"I could hold on another 6 months but there are no guarantees."

So you were together for 7 years and don't know if you can handle being alone for a few months. If you really need and depend on someone to make you happy, then you should file and find someone else. This process is going to take awhile because it's not YOU it's your W trying to figure those things out. You are on her timeline not yours. If you can't handle giving up that control, then leave. Simple as that.

"If w was still acting as if she wants nothing to do with me, I probably would just move on. But instead she will draw me in and then take space again. Is anybody else in a situation where it feels like at any moment your wayward spouse may come around, but they just kind of stay in that place?"

They are all like that because they don't know what they want. You have to be understanding and compassionate to that if you don't want to break up your M.