"W suggested I ask myself "what would James Dean do in this situation? Do the same!" some years ago."
I remember when you first posted this. This was a perfect example of when she was desperately trying to get you to start acting like a man. But you either didn't want to or didn't understand. You've got to get to that point.
"A few positive developments here: I went upstairs and read in the porch (adjacent to master bedroom) again, this time with no perceived hostility,"
Stop 'expecting' hostility. All of that is in your mind. I don't know if you can see that. If you expect hostility, you will get it.
"As we've not been in the same room much at all while not fully clothed over these last years, this was a definite change"
Not really. Don't read too much into things that aren't there. That will be your downfall.
"and I thought, sexually charged (hope W thought the same!)"
I hate to burst your bubble, but that was NOT sexually charged. It would have been if you would have grabbed her and given her a hug or a playful slap on the butt, but you didn't.
"Other developments: I will invite a local divorced guy I know and like out to lunch, casually, not to talk anything serious."
That's a good start, but you shouldn't label him. Why is he a 'local divorced' guy and not just a guy? What does he do for fun? Does he go out on dates?
Will also look into group activities here, with the aim of becoming more social (even though I leave for the US in two weeks, for a month again)."
That's also a good start. You can even try to invite your W on occasion.
"Will send notes to other EE folks that I liked. My closest EE person suggested that I review the notes from my DB coaching session and talk to my IC about help implementing them."
You should have been doing this all along. You have a tendency to build up steam and then abruptly stop. Don't do that.
"W and I are alone evenings the next two days, with S back at college and D on a school field trip. W is doing 5:2 diet, fasting today."
And so what are you doing together?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
