Cindy the answer to your question lies in what your H said. You are obviously a more trusting and forgiving person. And that is OK. Going for a D is a HUGE blow to anyone. And THAT is something that can be VERY hard to come back from. He COULD be thinking as he said that you will do it to him again. That the first time he says or does something wrong you will run for the court.
You still have hope. He showed up for MC. POSITIVE. He is floundering on his decision and resolve. Positive.
The fact that your decision to end the D was not met with more loving and excitment is a MINOR thing in the grand scheme of things. It is MAJOR to you though and that is important. But please keep in mind that he is scared right now. Apprehensive. And also could be testing you to see if any changes you have made are real, or if they are just changes for now but will stop once he is back in the house.
As far as him coming back, have you ever had a dog that ran away for several days but ended up coming home a bit beat up, but came home? Keep in mind that men are Dogs. We KNOW where we eat. And usually will do everything in our power to get back home. You are in a GREAT position right now and the one MAIN thing that can mess it up is YOU. Just chill for now. Go off the radar unleass he pops up. You would/could be surprised. In your sitch I wouldn't suggest going dark. But more like GREY.
What you said is great. Back off him. Break contact and continue mission. See if he goes to the next session. It hurts to be in the place that you are in right now, but for now in the interest of saving your M suck it up and drive on. Find strength and solace(SP) in the fact that there is action and you seem to be in the hands of a good MC.
But hell what do I know about any of this? I can't even get my W. to really even WANT to talk to me.
