My intent is to continue sharing my insights during this time of transition, because even though Joe and I signed the D papers, I feel I'm still transitioning out of my M.
Also, I intend to share how I build a good relationship w myself and with Joe.
Thanks to all of you who've been by my side during the past year. Amazing journey. Love to all.
Tori, YOu have so much to offer all of us DBers here. I, for one, feel so blessed to have you as my friend and for all of your caring advice. So sorry it took me so long to "hear" you!
Glad you are continuing to post here to offer your insights on your continued journey!
(((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
I am so glad those are your intentions because your advice has been very helpful to me and so many others.
I agree with Bug on building a R with ourselves. I think it is easy to forget that we need to nurture that just as much and if not more than our other R's. Its the building blocks for every other R in our lives.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
I've had a lot of time to reflect this weekend. I find myself being more aware of my limiting thoughts, and not letting my behavior be dictated by what others expect of me.
I was watching a rerun of Sex and the City last night--the episode in which Miranda crawls underneath her son's crib to avoid meeting Steve's GF. She was afraid of seeing/meeting this woman because that would "make her real." I think something like that has happened to me. Part of me wants to believe Joe's woman isn't real, which shows I'm still attached to my M and to Joe. I've decided to be patient with myself as I completely detach but now I see this is not a short process. Joe still pops up in my dreams often, and thoughts about what happened still come to my head several times a day (including right when I wake up.) At the same time, I continue feeling this overwhelming sense of joy and freedom; like I was released for prison. It's so WEIRD.
I'm following the strategies I wrote in my book, and they work. Sometimes it's hard to believe I wrote this book...that's what inspiration does to a writer, I guess.
It is a long process, though. So I'm very grateful to have you, guys!
Tori, it is good to see that you are slowly moving through the process. I feel the same way, that it will take some time to completely detach from H. There are these memories that keep popping up, unexpectedly sometimes. And I feel sad. But, then I tell myself that I don’t need him to be happy. I lived without him before, and I can do it again.
I’m glad that you are staying active on this board. I agree with others here that your advice is invaluable.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
I have news from Joe--I was right to assume he was moving with the woman, but there's more: she's pregnant. He said he had decided to tell her to not have the baby bc he was thinking about ending the relationship but changed his mind when he got a text that said the world was ending. Yup. So now they're going through w it. He says he still doesn't know what to do w his life.
Joe is being seriously tested by life, and his testing period looks to be extended for a long long time.
He started asking me all sorts of personal questions: was I dating, when was I going to get a higher paying job (so he'd have to pay less support,) what I did w my time. It was stressful.
I told him his actions and decisions brought him to where he is now and he needs to deal w whatever is in his hands now: i.e. a kid.
I would say I can't believe this but I actually believe it, knowing Joe as well as I know him.
I feel really weird. Like this is the final straw that severed all ties between Joe and me. It's over forever. Hmm. Really weird feeling.
