DFE, really sorry you're going through this. I think you really need to detach from your H, whenever he has a change in mood it creates a change in your mood too. That's a product of still being attached, if you detach from him then his moods will not affect yours.
Being a doormat is more along the lines of letting someone take advantage of you, such as letting him actively engage in an affair while he's still home and you're still washing his underwear and taking care of him. I don't see any of your behavior as you being a doormat. Yes he's affecting your moods, but like I said above that's just you being too attached, you're not being a doormat. You've been standing for your M a long time and you should be proud and hold your head high!
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That our life has been on hold forever because of whatever he is going through.
DB'ing isn't about putting your life on hold. By all means, live life! DB'ing is in part about showing your WAS that you REFUSE to put your life on hold, it's about showing him that you will be OK whether you go on with or without him. Because you WILL be OK regardless
