Window of opportunity or just a mirage

[2ndtimearoundCA]

This is my third thread (other than my thread on attraction Here ) and while it has only been six months, it has been quite a journey. I see that many have been DBing for years. I praise those of you who are able to keep going. I just don't know how long I can hold onto hope. I am in weird place in that I feel that I may be close to having a breakthrough, but I also am having many thoughts of just giving up. It would be so helpful to me if I could have a better understanding of what my w is thinking. It is this "come closer, no go away" kind of feeling my w seems to be projecting. It makes it very difficult to detach.

Today I floated down a river in inner tubes with my two teenage kids and two of their friends. It was a wonderful relaxing day, but in the end I missed my w. I miss the adult companionship of having a best friend and partner to be there with me on a family vacation. I want that again. I could hold on another 6 months but there are no guarantees.

If w was still acting as if she wants nothing to do with me, I probably would just move on. But instead she will draw me in and then take space again. Is anybody else in a situation where it feels like at any moment your wayward spouse may come around, but they just kind of stay in that place?