Well I had a brief anxiety attack today. I thought I was long past such things. I was working on keeping myself busy: yard work, reading, and watching a movie for the first time in months. Then all of the sudden, I became overwhelmed by grief. I started hyperventilating and sobbing. In particular, I was overcome by the thought of something happening to her. I dropped everything and got out of the house. A long walk later, I was past the worst of it. Hearing her voice or getting an email from her would have evaporated my anxiety, but I also know my need for communication would not help me reach my goal. It truly feels like purgatory. There's a door to escape, divorce, but I choose to remain. Nothing in my life has been harder.
