GTO, this is what I've sensed: - You feel your H would have to jump through hoops and be fully committed to make you really want to be in the M--he won't do it. Why? Because he can't emotionally. You'd have to be very patient and DB for a long time, and I do see a great chance of the M being saved--but it'll require a lot of work.
- You see the guy next door as a source of validation and approval.
Here is what I think: - Spending any time w the guy will not allow you to save your M. That's what the WAS's do; they get involved w other people so they lose even more interest in their S's.
I think no matter what we say here, you'll do what you think it's best for you. You'll be ready to see the truth whenever you are ready. For now, take care of yourself and the boys, and continue contemplating your sitch. The answer will only come to you when you're ready to receive it.