You know what my answer is going to be: set boundaries.

Let him know what is unacceptable to you, and what the consequences are if he continues.

I won't promise that he won't react badly. He will push back and accuse you of trying to control him, he'll threaten to leave, but you have to stand firm.

Me: 44, Wife: 39
M: 17 years T: 20 years
Bomb on 08/25/09
1/13/10: MC started
1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs
8/28/10: Wife moved out
No talk of D, no movement

"Every day is another chance to get it right."