Thank you, snodderly. My mother is home at the moment. My brother and SIL are here. After church the boys and I will visit with them. This may be the last time we are all together. I hope it will bring some peace to my mom. She is not afraid to die, but she is really struggling with leaving all of us. She has decided to try one more chemo treatment. Her doctor offered it, but isn't hopeful. The next step would have been to call in hospice. She doesn't seem ready to make that decision. However, she is fading away. She may not be aware of it, but the rest of us are.
I've never been aware of just how fluid life is as I have been these last two years. For a long time I fought all of the changes - my broken marriage, my mom's illness, the boys' growing up. There has been a lot of anguish attached to each of these. Too much, at times. Allowing changes to happen has been a huge area of growth for me. Dealing with the feelings and fear is something that I have to continuously work on.
