Blowing in the wind....

[RosaLinda]

Thanks for your thoughts, WillBWell. Your kindness means a lot to me.

Portia "Nero, Linda, just remember the basic tenant of DBing is that it feels counterintuitive. The challenge is that they do fault us for caring. Say goodbye to your H with the strength that he does not have. Who knows, he might surprise you and hug you!"

uR "...the thing is this - he is going away to be with another woman. So, why would you say anything like what you want to say to him? Remember the holding onto the pants leg analogy? His choice, this trip. His consequences. Leave him to them.
You make sure you are looking good and act as if you have better things to do than ask him to call you to let you know he got there, ok?"

Thanks girls. I promise not to grab onto H's pants leg and beg! I will be strong and beautiful and show him what he will be missing lol! It won't be hard to act distracted, as I will be leaving for my surgery around the same time H will be leaving for the airport. Maybe I WILL get a hug out of the deal, merely for show if nothing else, because his mom will be there watching him with her suspicious eagle eye, but I'm not counting on it.

Bright "It looks like RT is not that interested to have him next to her all the time, hehe. Apartment 2 hours away from her work… Unless she is taking time off work, I don’t understand this potential arrangement. It also means that he will have to travel for 2 hours each way to do any kind of sightseeing. I know from personal experience how tiring it can be in big city like Moscow."

I don't understand why RT found H a flat so far from Moscow proper either Bright, because H told me RT just got a new job after being unemployed for a couple of months (her boss was thrown in jail!) and cannot take time off from work. He told me she will be staying in her own flat, not with him (that may or may not be a lie ) and didn't sound at all sad about having to be on his own most of the time.

I think H might have been balking at paying $1,100 to rent the flat in Moscow proper, which he says is about a month's salary over there. It took him ages to earn the money he's using for the trip, it's a lot of money to him.

"He is angry because the trip is getting closer and the fantasy is slowly turning into the reality for dealing with practical matters of this trip. I think he is cooking nicely…"

It's his dream (for the past 4 years anyway) come true. I know it is going to change him, not sure how, but a person cannot live in another culture like that for a whole month and stay the same. It bothers me that I will never know how and why he changes, I'll just see the outside manifestations. I hope it opens his eyes to RT's true personality and motives, but even if it does, that is no guarantee he'll ever want me back

Isn't the fall just the best time of year, DMR and Betsey? Surely September and October are the nicest months to marry. Happy anniversary, the anniversary of happier times, of the best time, to the two of you, and to me too. Thanks Bets, I'll try to be happy and remember the 34 good years and 2 wonderful sons.

Gee Bets, remind me not make plans to travel the same time as you; you seem to attract political turmoil I'm not a bit worried about going to London, shoe bombers and all, and what my H is worried about is that he won't be allowed into Russia or that his trip will be cut short. Our S27 just told me yesterday he hopes his dad's visa will be revoked or something. I hope not, and that he finally gets the chance to get this trip and maybe the Russian Whore out of his system.

Nero "just remember- whether we're with them or they are a long gone memory- you'll still be standing and alive and have recaptured your total lindaness & be okay..... mee too and dawn too, whatever it ends up turning out to be - who
could ever know now...

have you been watching any public tv shows about martin luther king and march on washington fifty year anniversary??? it reminds me of the terrible sitch here in usa a mere fifty or so years ago- unthinkable- yet, true... one of these days- we too will belooking BACK at this all- no kidding- our own little personal tragedies and triumphs - nothing comes without a struggle - does it... who knew???"

Thanks Nero! I hope it does not take us 50 years, but agree that in the end we will recapture our essential beings and end up on our feet, whole and sane, with or without our Hs. My fondest hope is to end up like rH or Sandi2 or MrBond.

In fact thinking of Sandi2 made me remember something I read on her thread, and I went and looked it up. She was trying to decide whether to stay and work on her marriage or to leave with her OM, and wrote: "I can't help but wonder if that is my once in a lifetime chance at true hapiness."

I wonder if this is what my H thinks, if this is why he is going to Russia. That the Tramp is his once in a lifetime chance for happiness. Sometimes I feel so positive about my sitch, that he will wake up and love me again someday, and sometimes I just know that this is the end of the line for me.

Well either way Nero, we will end up whole and sane, right?