I am a Newcomer.

[SoLostandAlone]

Well I haven't been on here for awhile. I managed to get myself a vacation in a psychiatric hospital. My sister arrived from TX Friday and we're loading the moving truck today. So - it's over. H can't file for D until bankruptcy is done, so it won't be immediately, but I will be served eventually. God allowed me to learn some things in the "nuthouse". This is the best thing for me to do. I have no legal right to my stepkids, but H says he will not stand in the way of their relationship with me and will have visitation added to his divorce paperwork when it is in the works. I have to just hope he honors his word. Leaving for TX Wednesday. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, which a lot of people think is crap since it's a mental illness and you can't see anything wrong with a person who suffers from these kinds of illnesses, but I can attest to the fact that it's very very real and very very painful mentally. I'm lucky my closest friend here who is like a little brother to me is a police officer and had me taken to the hospital Monday 9/19. My day had gone so badly, I couldn't stop crying and I did and said some really bad things. I don't feel suicidal anymore, and my sister is here now. I still break down sporadically throughout the day, but my "rock" is here now to help me.

Thank you for all of your support, guidance and advice. This D will not be stopped and I just can't stay here being as depressed as I am without much support. I'll end up "in a casket" as my sister says. Good Luck and Prayers to you Fighters. You would have to be some of the strongest people I've come across.