Need help detaching

[lost_hope]

Thanks everyone once again! Looks like a WAS will always be a WAS in some cases, even if a modified cake eating one. After a few days of relative calm and happiness H and I are back to arguing. Which is awful bc we are staying with his mom and my mom is here as well. we just closed on the house and we can't even make if past the renos. I just had to kick him out of the bed bc he had to remind me that it's not that he doesn't love me it's that he hates me. Imagine he says this with his son nearby. I know deep down inside that he truly does hate me. That's why he was able to treat me horribly while I was pregnant with our first child. I'm sorry, that's just an abnormal stance to be in. No one can convince me otherwise.

Well the last bit of love just let me today. If a bank will loan me money to pay him out for the house I will do it in exchange for full custody. I'm tired of being treated like less than dirt. I can power through the lack of affection. I'm not able to power through the lack of respect. I feel defeated and sad in a weird way. It's not the hopeless kind of sad, but the realization that my marriage is truly over and it's just a matter of time.

I'm going to be 35 next month. I have a truly beautiful smart and strong son. I deserve more than someone who continues to treat me like crap during a time when he should be supporting me. Im not going to say he doesn't help with the baby because he really does. He just makes it clear how much he loathes me. Obviously he only cares about me bc I work and can help him afford the house in his dream neighbourhood. Anyway I should go back to sleep with the baby. Scarce commodity these days!