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Joined: May 2013
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This thread was feeling a bit uncomfortable... I'm glad things will be heading back to focus! All the best to you SP!


me: 30 H:30
tgthr:7 m:4
no kids
5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012
long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012
official BD: July 2013
nothing filed
1/1/14 I dropped the rope
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Uncomfortable for who?

All I see is a repeat of past behavior.

SP spouts off... gets called on it... SP gets argumentative...gets called on it... When nobody will back down to his behavior he comes back with the "Yes, all of you are right... I was wrong" routine.

I keep hoping, SP, that someday you will get it.


“Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out” ― Art Linkletter

M - 06/01
D - 05/14
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sp,

I understand where you're coming from. You feel you and your family have been and are being MORE than reasonable, and that she is being extremely unreasonable, disrespectful, and downright rude. And you're being told that you need to, as you see it, capitulate even more and that you are, in fact, not being reasonable. So you try to rephrase what you are saying because any reasonable person in your shoes would certainly agree with you. Right? You feel like your W is constantly crapping on you and you're being told that you also have to buy the toilet paper. (BTW, you aren't crazy and I think you're being extremely fair and honest.)

I understand the sentiment that you need to (continue to) be the bigger person in this situation, but I also understand having a line in the sand and it being crossed...and realizing your line has been crossed is okay, just make sure you handle it the best way possible for you and your daughter.

Good luck this weekend! Be in control of yourself. Don't lose your composure.

-PM


M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
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I'm conscience of my flaws. I wasn't in the past. I am trying my best to change my ways, Cas. It won't happen overnight. But, if it makes you feel any better, a few years ago I would have never backed down. Baby steps....


Me:46 Her:38
My D: 11
Her S: 8


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Hey SP, see we have some mutual friends so I thought I'd stop by.

I am going to assume you dont want to be argumentative any longer because that's just how I roll. smile

The first step towards change is recognizing what needs changing.

The second step is living it everyday. Some days you make it, some you dont, but that should always be the goal.

I think the key is to really and truly believe in the possibility of change. And to really believe that you are capable of it.

Once those things are done, it's all a mindset. It takes hard work and perserverance, but, oh man, the rewards.

So, what can you do to affect the changes you want to make?

Gotta be proactive, right?

Can you take a walk before you respond or react? Can you count to 50, write it down, talk it through to yourself?

The way to change is to do something different.

So, whatcha gonna do in order to see this change through because at the end of the day, the only thing in this life you can control - is you.

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