Struggling!

[sbrass]

I bought and read SSM a year ago. I read it with hope: this could help bring the end of my sex-starved marriage. Now I have a no-sex marriage, and my wife has come out to me as a lesbian, after 30 years together. Each time I get some possible glimpse of some slight glimmer of light at the end of the dark tunnel, it seems to be shut off. She, my wife's seeing a psychologist, and we're seeing together a sexologist/therapist. But now my wife says she's not got the energy to work on her past, understanding her childhood and her relation with her mother AND work on our relationship. So I'm back in total despair. 'Lesbian' is just a label; my wife's still the person I've lived with and loved. Yes, sex is only part of life, and part of a relationship. But when it's not there, it's hell.