oh geeeez - i hear ya. keep in mind- THEIR LIFE IS MOving on without you- not yours. this woman (me) is realizing that (maybe) parents come and go. my mom never ever wanted to have any part in anyone's "troubles" - fair enough. her spiel was grow up- get a job - get out and don't ask me for nothin (done and done) BUT the "tending" she's requireing now - makes me question whole (duty) thing.
what is our duty anyway??? what is theirs??? they raise us- they get to wash their hands if THEY WANT TO (apparently). that shades our duty- i've alwasy been guilty & "tow the line"...
LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE OF THIS- when your mother is decrepid and finds it useful to WANT a r with you so you can "take care of her" - perhaps you'll plunk her in a home and say good riddance and feel okay with it??? maybe it will in fact feel as easy as "hey, you weren't "there" for me- so thank you and drive th4ru please..." i wouldn't mind feeling like that- i am quickly losing totally my ability to care around here at the moment-
maybe your mom is doing the dirty work for you- and you'll be the guy who benefits from the distance (ultimately)..
your kids are there with ya- in your life- and your h maybe still in mlc mode- but at the end of the day (whenever in he!! that turns out to be) you will move forward with YOUR LIFE and those more immediate family members>>
I FEEL like that too alot (passed by) - that everyone else has their life- this mother junk- my stupid h and 'HIS ' house and life in FL- it's a giant ball and chain on my own neck- of their creation (or so it FEELS)... when it's all over - which ever way- i'm going to be a free woman. i can glom onto whoever it is i want to be around i think- and play it that way...
idk where my life and my home will be- i don't even have some kids to be part of it -
BUT THEN- i have a sister that can stand me (still) here and my neice (poor kid- she was soooo outraged and shocked to witness my brother in law ripping my head off yesterday) (surprise attack from car while my sister sat next to him silently).
GOD PRESERVE US ALL FROM THE SELF-righteous A$$holes of the universe- she stayed with me all evening yesterday- she's a sensitive little thing- she wanted to be supportivem she couldn't believe his bad form - we made and ate some chocolate chip cookies -
TALK ABOUT SPEW- AND BLUGING VEINS, ETC. ANYWAY- i have not one stinkin idea who is going to end up part of my life - i'm beginning not to care. if family ties have to make me suck up this kind of stuff (and thank them for it) maybe it's not something i'll NEEEED like i always thought i did- or even want.
you're doin good- it was so nice to chat- your voice and conversation is exactly like what i hear in your posts- we'll make it thru this journey of our own- and come out the other side with shiney cheeks and appreciation of life and all hte small little pleasures/treasures it's got- the he!l with what we're allllll "supposed" to want and to have-
we'll be us, happy girls, heads on straight- sniffing babies and enjoying a sunny window in winter- blah blah blah.
now, i gotta go eat something and quit thinking or talking about this anger- family spew- hatefest i call a family-
talk about surprising view of what people are when the chips are down-
oh well- spartacus here - about ready to rally the slaves and strike a blow for freedom or death (no kidding- maybe i'll change my name. )
maybe i'm less nero fiddling while rome burns - and more spartacus figuring "what the3 hell, give it a shot - how bad could it be????"
soooooo - historical & biblical , aren't I/??
have a good day dawn- don't worry about your mom- it may be something that will "save" you from some stuff- rather than the other way around- a giant "obligation" you have to bear-
there's always a chance.
xxoo hope your day is okay and your patient isn't awful today-
you sound like me with the ruined life plans. my h and the "and then we can live whereever you want" - thing. whatta joke huh? what happens - really - in life as opposed to the rosey old "plan" -
as long as it was him fobbing me off with idle promises that he couldn't and wouldn't keep- it was swell..... it did keep my stupid butt in Fla for 20+ years...
