1. H and I have talked a lot over the phone this week (he initiates more convos). 2. He returns my calls the same evening (except for Tuesday when he was out all night). 3. He pins down times and specifics for my dates in response to my questions. 4. He invited us over this Saturday night cause Sunday he was going to be out with the guys. 5. He took us to the hockey game Saturday night. 6. We made love Saturday night and he was very, very attentative. Worshipping me. He cuddle afterwards for a long, long time. Then as he went to sleep he continued to touch me in some way....encouraged me to snuggle close. He even hugged me very hard during the night for a while. 7. He cooked us breakfast (last weekend he made breakfast only for him then sat and ate right in front me and the boys...didn't offer anything). 8. He took us to the park for a long walk while the boys rode their bikes. H and I talked easily about this and that....nothing major. 9. He mentioned that he plans to take every Saturday off to attend the boys' soccer games (games are February thru April). 10. He mentioned that he is taking all of spring break off. (this is good indication I think for us still being married then cause our divorce decree only gives him half...why take off all if we are divorced?) 11. He let me kiss him goodbye and he hugged the boys goodbye.
Ok, the negatives:
1. He didn't buy us dinner Saturday night but has $2,000+ in his account. I'm struggling to pay the divorce attorney and he expects me to buy dinner? Hmmm... 2. He recieves a call at 11:30pm but no one answers when he picks it up. He stays near the phone for another 1/2 hour so I don't answer it or hear the message I guess?. 3. He had a voicemail on his phone and takes it in a way that I can't hear it. 4. He stared overly hard at women at the hockey game. 5. He had a ticket to zona rosa for Tuesday the 27th for a 9pm show. There was a girl's phone number on a slip of paper folded up with the ticket. It was wide out in the open but I didn't mention it nor touch it. 6. He still doesn't do a lot of touching outside the bedroom. Not even to hold my hand. Is this a guy thing? !
He had way more positives this week. and is really trying it seems. He initiate lots more conversations, outings which is great. I just wish he'd hurry up and say something about the pending divorce. Is he waiting on me to say something about? The uncertainty of where he's going with all this is wreaking havoc with my mind...I feel as though he's dating and using me for sex but then I see his positives I think well maybe not?. Don't know.
I keep the pressure off him, don't touch him unduly, or try to talk too much, nor do I question his whereabouts when I can't reach him. I hd a hard time letting him go to the superbowl thing without us cause I feel as though any time he wants us over then all available time should go toward family time since he is not available to us the other days of the week. I feel as though family is totally at the mercy of when he feels like being a family man and it irks me that that is not very often!
But I guess overall it was a good week . We'll see what h says to the c today.
