Just friends is OK for now

[RosaLinda]

Just checking in on your sitch, and it sounds like things are looking up for you DMR. Thanks for dropping by my thread too

You're sounding so much stronger and happier; it's nice to hear. Have you found a new car yet?

It sounds as if you and W are bonding a lot, dinner and TV and shopping together. It's a lot better than the days of arguing over the cat and her coming over to steal your curtains. And it's great that The Contractor seems to be out of the picture. It sounds like you've really done a lot of work on yourself and are doing a great job DBing!

We're both facing the dreaded anniversary question! It's so hard to have to consider these things that normal couples take for granted. I agree that sending flowers might be too pursuing, but am not at all sure that your new approach "No plotting or planning. I'll let the anniversary roll by unless she brings it up." is right either. Since you have been going out to dinner already, I don't see anything wrong with inviting her to that restaurant she had expressed an interest in. A simple sweet card, not too sappy. A single flower? 

I know I will be devastated if I do not hear from my H on our anniversary but think in my case I should follow your "let it roll by" scenario. I WAS considering mailing him a sappy anniversary card to the Russian Tramp's flat, but that would be for the sheer pleasure of annoying her! If I could be 100% certain she'd burn it instead of giving it to him, I'd love to write a bunch of crap about our enduring love and amazing hot (non-existant ) sex life. Ah, pipe dreams!

You mentioned your W telling you she was starved for affection over the years. Have you tried taking one of those online quizes to determine her love language DMR? I recently did and learned my H's LL is acts of service. I had never heard of such a thing! I always thought it was nice that he does little things for me all the time, but felt unloved because he didn't like to hold my hand, snuggle, do all the physical touchy things I like. I didn't see that was his way of showing love. It sounds like your W's LL might be physical touch too. What do you think?