If you love him so much, you need to let him go. It will be hard at first, but he will only be able to come back to you once he's got space and time to work out what he wants. You've got all your friends there to support you in this and maybe some family nearby. I'm glad that you don't argue in front of the kids Your kids may love their dad very much, but if their dad wasn't there then they will adjust. Isn't that better than clinging on to what little you've got left of your H? My son has high functioning autism and although he's 19 he can't cope with change. When my H first left me, I had a terrible time with him. Eventually after a few days he accepted that his dad wasn't coming back and adapted to the new routine. He has his moments at times, but these are just teenage hormones, lol.
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Your kids may love their dad very much, but if their dad wasn't there then they will adjust. Isn't that better than clinging on to what little you've got left of your H?