wife hardends heart-3

[planet]

You wrote true events, when your family hurt her AND worse, to most women, is when their husbands do not stand up for them. It feels like betrayal & is seen as either disrespect of the wife, in our culture, and or

Weakness in the husband for not taking a stand. It's part of being a provider. Provide security & support includes emotionally as well, not just financial.

I have learned this lesson the hard way. Thank you for reminding me time and again.

Anyhow, in TIME, your w will recall the other good moments. Good feelings and memories will re-surface if they are there.

I'm sure they are there.

Why on earth would your wife Elevate your role to "guest"? She thinks she is doing you a favor by allowing you in "her" home. Why wouldn't you manage for yourself?

Plus this is supposed to be your FATHERING time to be with your kids. She should not even have to be there. I wish she weren't, frankly.

Well it's not my home anymore. I'm just there to visit my kids. She's ok with me making myself at home but i'm not sure if this is all right.
I spend time with my kids without her around. She will disappear into another room and stayed out of my way. I don't mind it at all. She can be very annoying when every comment or action i do bothers her.
This will be the arrangement on weekdays after work. Don't seem right if i take them out all the time on school nights but I will on weekends.

You do NOT bring up the relationship. Have you read the books that are the basis for our approach?

Read Divorce Remedy ASAP, and do Not give it to your wife to read. It's just for you.

I have read Divorce Remedy.

What 180's are you doing to contrast her negative views of ou?

I have been a better father to my kids. She acknowledges it too but says it too late.
I have been friendlier towards other people but she thinks it's just an act and probably have gone crazy. Her exact words.
She thinks i can't be thoughtful ever. She was absolutely livid when i made a thoughtful action after BD.
Well, it's ok though. It's my 180, not hers.

But I did made a very stupid comment about her weight a few weeks ago. I may have made her cry.
She probably hates me more! What was i thinking!?

What NEW activities are you doing to make yourself feel more alive, more interested & more interesting?

Take a class, JOIN something like a book club or writing group or a team, or volunteer somewhere.

You need a little mystery in your life and you need to start feeling better about yourself...for YOU and to also be more attractive.

Do NOT act as if you can nEver be happy or loving or loved again. You can & you will, hopefully with her.

My sister have invited me to join her in some church activities. Maybe i will.

Show her the new, changed you (with action, not words). Become a man only a fool would leave. What were you like when she fell in love with you?

That is the biggest mystery. I don't know why I was chosen. She have many guys who are interested.
I wasn't particularly charming or 'pursued' her relentlessly.
My friend commented that she fell in love with my looks. But she mentioned years ago that she never thought i was good looking. Yeah, she's not a shallow person. It's probably something else.