ruby- I think it is interesting what you said about the different levels of forgiveness and that the forgiveness as a co-parent seems much more possible.
Things can never be forgotten and that's where my hang-up is in the "wife" category.
Plus I don't know if I could ever trust that H was completely over OW in the future. After all, she dumped him (I think). And, what if she changes her mind...decided she's lonely and oh, yes, I do want a R with you, H.
Went for yogurt w a GF today and she said something I've been thinking about... "Do you think your chances of being happy in the future are greater with or without your H?"
She was D and has now been happily remarried for 4-5 years, so her perspective is definitely biased toward remarriage. I told her I really wasn't sure.
She said "You will have no problem with guys--you are such a hottie!" Now, I know this is from a GF BUT I'll take any compliment I can get!
Cute D'ed guy doesn't have son this weekend so chances are good we may get together to hang out.
AS- Your opinions are important to me. I too believe my M is over, so only paper left. A PA and an EA are equally harmful to a marriage, I agree, so I get your point about sex.
Still, for me sex=emotionally involvement, so 2 things will happen at once...I would have expectations that would not be met by cute guy and my feelings would progress quickly to more than just what they are now. Don't think cute guy would progress in the feelings dptmt in the same way. So yeah, sex (while it would be amazing, I think (based on the incredible kissing-ooo,la-la!) the emotional after-effects would NOT be worth it).
(Yeah, I'm missing the intimacy of being with a loving partner, but know it is not to be found in a casual relationship.)
The question is.. am I getting myself emotionally involved with cute guy--I don't think so -yet. I like him, he's fun to hang out with, and I do think about him a lot. But, there just isn't much substance to our R. Little texting from him, no phone calls or other communication unless I initiate, only 1 direct compliment (during the kissing) and only 2 late night visits to talk/ play board games PLUS one kiss (well, a lot of kisses one time).
If I wanted to get involved with someone they would have to give a whole lot more than that! Plus he has made it very clear he is not in a place to want a R in his life right now. I appreciate his honesty, and actually that has helped me stay clear about not investing too much on my end.
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
