Yeah, Ruby, you're right.

And I think this is what is really unsettling me at the moment.
It all just feels soooo odd/unreal.

I'm back to "This just can't be happening to me."

It's sort of too much to accommodate, somehow. My brain is just shutting down into denial again.

It's taking a constant act of will to keep going.

I'm slightly worried for my sanity.