Wiley,

Well the MC said that my boundaries need to be such that they put more responsibility on h for how the r progresses. I have one so far which involves getting respect. H is too vague when making plans almost non-committal so MC has suggested that when that happens I should plan on ending the conversation or leaving. MC said that if I was his GF he'd have the common courtesy to tell me the specifics of the date and give advance notice. But I digress...

The MC said that I should also remove all pressure from h regarding us getting together on Sundays. I should no longer initiate dates but encourage h to be responsible for setting those up by saying "h, I feel as though I have been putting too much pressure on you by calling each week to initiate dates. I want to respect your feelings by not pressuring you but I do want you to know that the boys and I love to hang out with you and would be open to hanging out. So h if you would like to hang out please let me know by Friday, do not leave a message."

MC said that h needs to be taught that I want respect if he wants an r with me...so now he has the responsibility of deciding if being respectful to be with me is something he wants. By freeing h to initiate dates, setting them up, I give him the responsibility, frees me, and helps h see that he has to do something for the r otherwise it won't happen.

MC has said that my h is passive agressive in that he makes it so that if anything is going to happen it will be my doing. He has no responsibility.

What other boundaries can I do that would shift responsibility to h? Got any ideas? I bet you do , please share!

Cindy