Wife said she was done! House sold, Moving forward

[Positivespin]

Maritimer

I love how you are thinking about tomorrow and the steps you need to take to get there.

There will be a tomorrow and it will be less bad then yesterday. Keep being super dad and stick to your plans

Swim class is great idea

[Maritimer]

Thanks Adinva! You don't realize how those 2 simple words made my day!

While visiting with the boys last night I couldn't help but notice how angry her tone is when she speaks to me. Every time I go there I have a positive mental attitude, play with the boys and when I speak to her she is just so cold and negative?

What is with the negative attitude? She is the one who left me, It feels like she was happier before the BD!

I was reviewing txt & emails before the BD and everyone had a chipper and happy tone to them. Then on Dec 1 a switch flipped. After that it was short demanding messages. I fear that the boys will feed off of that attitude and it could affect there feelings towards me.

Tonight after swimming with my oldest I wanted to take him to the drive in movie to watch Planes. She will not allow this... I am baffled by this. I just want to provide a fun life for my children but am constantly hitting roadblocks. I think my problem is that I am asking instead of telling her. Being a nice guy is not helping me in this journey.

Am I running down cheese-less tunnels here?

[Positivespin]

Who/ where is the OM?????

Remember WE are the reason why there lives were and currently are so miserable...........in their mind

They are so sick and tired of our BS

[Maritimer]

I try not to think about OM as I have no confirmation if she is seeing anyone or not. It do not help me if I think about my W dating someone. I would get physically sick if it was confirmed.

Been crying for 2 days straight. So sad that its really happening and despite all my efforts in changing for the better she still shows that she is moving forward with ending this relationship.

Feels like she is DB towards me. No contact with me, portrays that she is happy, she is confident & looks better then ever!

When does it suppose to get easier? last weekend was a really low, submarine low point in my life.. actually felt like ending my temporary problem permanently.

I am finding it challenging being a single parent of 2 boys. I am doing the best I can but feel they are missing out on certain activitys. Not enough room for 3 on my bicycle. Swimming is hard as S3 needs constant supervision in the pool and S1 would need that as well.

Life has it twist & turns but I never expect it to become this extreme!

The loneliness and uncertainty of my current life is scaring me. Negative thoughts are filled in my head, like jealousy that things are working out for her. Why cant I bee happy if she seems happy?

Any words of wisdom? Techniques to eleavate these negative thoughts?

[T1000]

It's tough Maritimer.

My W has OM for sure. The 2nd OM. I think my M is gone for good. I rarely hear from her and she looks really good too.

I'd like to take the kids on bike rides but can't by myself. Swimming is the same. There are times when I get some help from friends and family but otherwise I just have to stick to things we can do together.

I did S3's party on Saturday without W. It was hard, he is autistic too.

Unless she has some extra hold over the kids about doing things then just take them to see Planes.

It will get better with time. You won't always feel this way. I felt really bad in January and then April. It took me over a year to get where I am.
Now I'm pretty good. Looking forward to life.

You will too.

[Positivespin]

Before we go anywhere please explain "felt like ending my temporary problem permanently"

[Maritimer]

Wow T1000, you are having the same struggles I am when parenting for our 2 kids.

I just feel that they are missing out on some really cool activities. Guess that's more of my problem as there full of laughs and giggles when we do spend time together.

Thanks for the reassurance that things will get better. I was in a really dark place the weekend and it scared me.

[PatientMan]

I try not to think about OM as I have no confirmation if she is seeing anyone or not. It do not help me if I think about my W dating someone. I would get physically sick if it was confirmed.

Been crying for 2 days straight. So sad that its really happening and despite all my efforts in changing for the better she still shows that she is moving forward with ending this relationship.

Feels like she is DB towards me. No contact with me, portrays that she is happy, she is confident & looks better then ever!

When does it suppose to get easier? last weekend was a really low, submarine low point in my life.. actually felt like ending my temporary problem permanently.

I am finding it challenging being a single parent of 2 boys. I am doing the best I can but feel they are missing out on certain activitys. Not enough room for 3 on my bicycle. Swimming is hard as S3 needs constant supervision in the pool and S1 would need that as well.

Life has it twist & turns but I never expect it to become this extreme!

The loneliness and uncertainty of my current life is scaring me. Negative thoughts are filled in my head, like jealousy that things are working out for her. Why cant I bee happy if she seems happy?

Any words of wisdom? Techniques to eleavate these negative thoughts?

I have been there and this low point will pass. I promise.

GAL. Do some things for YOU. Get out with friends/people and distract yourself, even if you don't feel like it.

Journaling helped me, so give it a shot. My thoughts would get caught in a negative, continuous loop, but once I started typing things out into my journal and I could see them right in front of me, things started to make sense and the loop was broken.

I can't promise how quickly you'll feel better, but IT WILL HAPPEN. For me I didn't realize it until I was already there, and I was left wondering how I got better.

You can do it. You will be okay.

All the best,

-PM

[AnotherStander]

Been crying for 2 days straight. So sad that its really happening and despite all my efforts in changing for the better she still shows that she is moving forward with ending this relationship.

I'm right there with you, after over a year of DB'ing my W is pushing forward with the D papers. I've long since accepted my sitch though, so all my tears over this were shed a long time ago. D isn't the end of hope unless you choose it to be. People reconcile after D all the time.

Feels like she is DB towards me. No contact with me, portrays that she is happy, she is confident & looks better then ever!

Looks can be deceiving. WAS's often mask what they're feeling inside, which is confusion, anger, pain, etc. They're letting those emotions run the show and control their actions.

When does it suppose to get easier?

It differs for each person. Some can become quite happy in just months while others take a year or more to get there.

last weekend was a really low, submarine low point in my life.. actually felt like ending my temporary problem permanently.

You're in what is referred to as "situational depression". Are you seeing an IC? If not then please consider one, and/ or discuss your depression with your PCP. I was in a deep, dark place too and when I was at the lowest I saw my doc and got on A/D's. That was a godsend for me, it enabled me to turn my life around.

The loneliness and uncertainty of my current life is scaring me. Negative thoughts are filled in my head, like jealousy that things are working out for her. Why cant I bee happy if she seems happy?

I seriously doubt she's happy, like most WAS's she's just good at pretending. But regardless, your focus needs to be on fixing you.

[Maritimer]

Before we go anywhere please explain "felt like ending my temporary problem permanently"

While crying in the car by myself feeling lonely, negative thoughts about W being with another guy, it just snowballed into what my options would be.

Then I thought of my wonderful boys and how blessed I am to have them in my life. I met a wonderful lady 11 years ago so I should be able to do that again. I have a fear of being alone.