We're good friends, but I want something more. You're right when you say that good friends is better than nothing at all, but sometimes if they're being moody then it affects you more than if they weren't speaking to you, don't you think? When my H has fallen out with me it affects me probably worse than if we had just been amicable with each other. Having said that I'd rather be friends with him than not speaking at all, especially when there's children involved.
First let me say, I understand about not fighting and not even able to look at each other. People can be friendly and conduct themselves in a civilized manner, but it doesn't mean they have to be BFF's. Of course you want to keep a certain level of friendliness for the sake of the children, but to what depth & length can you continue to carry it without it putting you in an emotional grave? If there is no future as a couple, then at some point, each person has to move forward independently. But, that is after you see the M is really over. It can end without being enemies.
This is strictly my opinion, but I believe the sooner the LBS stops trying to hang on for whatever level of whatever relationship they can get from the WAS, the sooner they stand a chance for recovery. B/c the more you cling to whatever you can get from the WAS, the more they don't desire to be "anything" with you.
I know this is hard to hear. You say you will accept friendship rather than not have him at all. To the eyes of some WAS, that can seem that you are willing to take whatever crumbs they throw your way, and I have not seen positive results come from it. Like I've stated before, it doesn't have as much to do with "love" as it does respect, when dealing with a WAS.
I know what you are saying, and I hope you get what I'm saying. I realize your pain is terrible and you can't bear the thought of not having a little thread left. ((hugs))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
