IMO, when a couple is living under the same roof, the issue must be about respect, not friendship. B/c the WAS will use the excuse that being just friends does not give you rights to their personal business (like having an A) or can tell them anything. In other words, they abuse the whole idea of being friends.

You deserve a position that is higher than just being a friend. After all, that is what M is all about. It just includes the two people in a relationship that is set apart from friendship.

Trying to live under the same roof while one is having an active A, is not always healthy for either of them, but especially the LBS. Some people can take advantage of the time, while under the same roof, to show the WAS what an awesome person you are. I think it works better for the LBW than the LBH, simply b/c of our roles in the M and due to how we're wired.

Women have to respect their H before she can feel the desire of love. Men need to feel admired and respected by women, but especially by their own W. This has to come first.

Neither woman or man has it easy when they are the LBS.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!