Suckerpunch, moving ahead one way or another!

[25yearsmlc]

I guess I am afraid of raising conflict and putting my wife, daughter and I in a position that we end up in a battle. That's scary, but it is a battle I would fight to keep myself from being taken advantage of.


You have expressed your concern & fear of being "taken advantage of" probably more than anyone else around. Yes, we get it. Enough already. You live and choose based on your feelings of anger & fear. Not a great life, and all self inflicted.



fter this is all over, I need to consider MY future, and the future I can have with my daughter. I am not just going to roll over because W feels she needs X amount of dollars, based on nothing, so she can buy a new house and move on with no financial worries. In a perfect world that would be great. In our world, that is not reality.


again??


I didn't intend on my comment being a cheap shot towards 25. I apologize if it came off that way. I simply meant that I knew that 25 felt that wife worked and put money into our home, and therefore she deserved something in return. I appreciate the perspective, and I was simply saying "25 votes for, YES , she deserves a settlement".


I said if your offer continues to be "nothing", she has no incentive to move, financially speaking. She has nothing to lose by fighting for more...more than nothing....also I believe living near your family BUT not in the marital home, has been a nightmare for HER, (which you totally overlook.)

Also, while you say neither of you has any equity, Only YOU get to remain in the marital home, while she incurs debt just to live.

She suffers way more than you do in terms of lifestyle change. Does that make this "more fair" to you?

A man who wants to pay nothing for his child, or wife, because he earns what his wife used to earn...I guess I don't know what your financial plan was. Seems it was all YOUR family's benefit (not your wife/child family, but your mom's).

I asked you what you believe your w would be entitled to if this happened two decades from now. You still have not said...I suppose all the equity would belong to your mom?



I feel otherwise, and I was wondering what others felt. Am I being unreasonable?????? I am honestly asking for opinions. Perhaps I am selling my side of the story too much, I guess. I just wanted some input to whether everyone feels that I am being fair or unfair. I can't sell the house. I


THAT ^^^IS YOUR PROBLEM, RIGHT? If you could sell it, that would be that.




WILL have it appraised. However, wife has said it many times, she feels she deserves more than a pat on the back to walk away. I get that, but if there is no equity in the house, which I have tried to prove to her with the market value assessment from 2 real estate agents, SHOULD I feel obligated to hand her money? That is the part I am struggling with. I guess it is more of a moral question than a mathematical one. Does wife deserve money to leave, even though there is no mutual asset to pull this money from?

The other thing I was asking for suggestions about is, how is the best way to approach her in regards to coming to an agreement. Wife and I are on totally different pages. How do I bridge that uncommon ground without causing conflict?

I honestly and truly do wish to approach this fairly, and without emotion driving anything. I am not trying to manipulate or control the financial figures or the situation. I am only wishing to do what is right and what is fair, for wife and for me.

Let me just say this:

Holding onto your anger to hurt or punish someone else,

Is like lighting yourself on fire,

To get smoke in their eyes....

It does You no good.