I can remember H and I talking about the wall and him asking me to let it down to let him in. And I can remember how sweet and sincere he was when we had the discussion. I get mad at myself for allowing myself to become vulnerable.
But without risk, where is the reward?
I look back at my time with my W and am really thankful. Yes, her choices hurt me deeply, but she is largely responsible for a lot of my changes these last couple of years. I'm such a better person now....a better dad, a better partner. My faith is strong. And I'm happy with me.
I'm reminded of the part in Star Trek V, where the guy is doing something to obsolve people of their "pain" and Captain Kirk says:
Originally Posted By: Captain Kirk
You know that pain and guilt can't be taken away with a wave of a magic wand. They're the things we carry with us, the things that make us who we are. If we lose them, we lose ourselves. I don't want my pain taken away! I need my pain!
