Separated, D filed, possible emotional affair

[NTX_Dad]

I agree with AnotherStander, you sounded a bit pushy in that text exchange. It sounds like you are wanting credit for being nice and trying the past six weeks.

At this point, I'd seriously forget about the present. What's the point? To even the score? All it's doing is reminding her that she wasn't important enough to receive the present on her actual birthday. Trust me, I learned this means a lot to women, at least my W anyway.

The changes you are trying to do are supposed to be for yourself, for the long run. Six weeks in the grand scheme of things is not that long. And the text exchange makes it sound like you are doing if for HER, not for yourself. I'm not sensing your heart is really in the DB process, it's just an exercise because you feel you "have to do it" at this point to try and save the marriage.

And as strange as this sounds, I am cringing as your story develops, it seems like there's too much texting. Trust me, I went through all of this two years ago. In my sitch, and in others close by that I witnessed, texting almost always lead to trouble and was counter productive. If you really NEED to have a conversation about the relationship and where things are going, do it in person or over the telephone. To me, texting is also a bit immature. This is your life partner and most important relationship you have, isn't it worth voice-to-voice communication?

I think of texting like road rage. People feel "safe" saying and doing mean things that they wouldn't have the courage to do face to face... and its those things said that lead to trouble.

That's my 2 cents... sorry if it sounded harsh. I'm just trying to apply the lessons I learned to help you. : )