I also reminded her I needed a copy of the dissolution to review.
Look, I know that right now you think you want out of this M, but it is WAY too early for you to know for sure if that's what you want. I went through something similar a few months after BD, I became convinced I was done and even considered filing for D myself. But a let the cooler heads here prevail and instead of acting on my feelings I took a step back and centered myself. Sure enough, after a month I felt much differently, I was right back to DB'ing and standing for my M. What I thought was a definite desire to end things was just in fact some temporary emotions that were clouding my judgement. But if you asked me at the time, I was POSITIVE I was done.
So give yourself some time. Quit pushing your W. There's no urgency to ending your M, give it a few weeks and see if you feel the same.
Quote:
Me: "I keep my word and MY side of our arrangements."
What do you hope to gain by digging at your W like this? Lots of anger here. You cannot think clearly from a position of anger, that's why I'm thinking your judgment about ending the M may be very clouded.
Quote:
W: "Yeah, for maybe the last 6 weeks, guess that makes you man of the year."
Anger from her side too, but she does have a point. We are constantly telling people on these forums that this is a marathon, not a sprint. It takes months and months of consistent changed behavior before a WAS believes the changes may be real and not just tricks to get them back.
Quote:
Me: "Sorry, I don't live in the past anymore. Have a fantastic night, hope your job interview went well."
Not sure how you meant that, but it comes off sounding very sarcastic/ condescending.
Quote:
W: "Of course you don't live in the past. Why would you care about the damage you've done to me."
Also a valid point. She DOES feel hurt and damaged by you, and you're acting like it's no big deal, it's in the past to why sweat it? But it's a huge deal to her. Even though you think you're done, this is a person you will be coparenting with the rest of your life. You should strive to have a good R with her even if the M doesn't last. And to have a good R you need to learn to validate instead of arguing/ dismissing her feelings.
Quote:
Me: "I've done everything in my power for 6 weeks, but apparently I'm just 'acting'".
Every WAS thinks that at first. Like I said above, it takes many, many months to get their attention. You're not seeing changes in 6 weeks so you want to throw in the towel? That's an unrealistic timeframe.
Quote:
Me: "No, you're right, that's way too short an amount of time. But you're the one cutting off the time".
Is she? Weren't you just complaining that she's not responding to the dissolution fast enough for you?
