pay no mind to the demons; they fill you w/fear

[Whiterose]

Hello all
Went to the fair on Sunday. Boys were off, I was a bit too, H walked around with the boys for about half hour, I was walking around with my sister at another end of the park so never saw H. The boys and I did run into an older man we know, through our church and he's been working on the grounds for over 40 years as a casual part time but knows everybody. He didn't know anything so joked "who let you guys in here? Oh have you seen a guy named ......?" Referring to the fact that during fair we don't see our spouses much. S18 answer "not really" and S14 took a step back. I had to say how H no longer lives with us. He was shocked, as was his wife, wanted to know what his problem was and if work was too much for him....very sarcastically. I had to say I don't know he just doesn't live with us anymore. It was very uncomfortable and upsetting.

Monday I message H saying that I'm in the process of applying for the mortgage at the agreed upon price and thanked him for his understanding (as I gag)

Tuesday appraiser comes for the mortgage and actually appraises the house $5000 less than agreed upon term. My cousin is a real estate agent and says she undervalued it but I'm taking it.

Yesterday went to see my acct and she explained the financials paperwork to me and how I need to calculate my income etc. I still have quite a bit of work to do but now at least I understand the Math.

Today I get a letter my lawyer received from H's lawyer wanting to know when I'd get my financials done. When I was going to have my mortgage done. Saying the Honda was in an accident no one told us about so is valued the same as this new truck he is driving (so made no money off of the sale) and wants to know what I did with the large tax return I normally get that we put towards household debt.
Before H left I had taxes done, like I always do and pay for, and normally HUSBAND gets a largish return. I guess he thinks I had the acct make it so I got it instead and he had to pay on this years return. What an ass!!!! He hadn't left yet and I didn't do anything....taxes were done like they always were!! Actually, I also had to pay! He thinks I'm thinking like him and out to get him!!!
Oh and the other visa, one I'm a secondary on and normally pay but couldn't pay in full due to my contribution to the mortgage last month, called looking for him and I gave them his cell number and said he no longer lives here.

I REALLY want to message him and say I'm not screwing him around. I'm not doing anything BUT everything to keep our kids going and I'm working like a dog to do it. That I paid on our annual taxes too and am not hiding any money JERK I'm not you!

Oh and last night S18 came home from work saying how he's going to start asking for Saturdays off so he can ride, cyclist, with his friends to get his mind off of stuff. I asked what was up, thinking there was stuff going on at work, and he got really antsy with me saying stuff here and how his dad said he wasn't worthy of ride passes but wants to know what days he has off of work so he can take H shopping with his discount. I was shocked at his audacity. I told son to calm down we were all upset and dealing with stuff and that although I asked, and he can always tell me, he needs to watch his workding and tone as I am one persons trying her best and his mother. My cousin was there, equally upset with everything son said, and said "here's what you tell your dad.........you're too busy!"

I'm so frustrated. He's working on warp speed without anything else to do and I'm working on stuff while trying to be a mom, run the house and my business. It's just never good/fast enough for him. I'm not feeling well again. So stressed out and have so much work to do so our kids can continue to eat! At my whits end