Nothing new here in my sitch. Never heard back from the W about my inquiry on her health. That stings. We have another court date in a month. I assume I'll be hearing from her soon. Really looks like this is going to happen.
I alternate between trying not to think about the sitch and dwelling on it. Trying to just let myself feel the emotions (Radical Acceptance) but it is a difficult road to walk. My GAL activities continue unabated.
In some ways I feel like a complete different man than I was on BD and in other ways I feel like I haven't changed at all. Anyone else feel that way? I have a hard time reaching detachment, but I find myself getting closer every day.
I've changed so much and improved myself so much, I just wish my W would let me share myself with her. I'm like a new, improved version of the man she fell in love with. I barely recognize myself in the mirror (lost 40% of my starting weight, dress better, groom better), All sorts of mental improvements too. Like I've said before, the hardest part for me is that I actually woke up right before the BD and realized (and was about to) make some major changes.
My therapist said since I was so concerned about my W's health that maybe I should reach out to my SIL or BIL to see how my W is doing, but I'm pretty sure that's a violating of DB principles and would be a bad idea.
I do hope she is okay. I wish she would let be there for her. Still, I need to accept the situation and focus on myself.
