The biggest obstacle is going to be the financial aspect, I believe. I don't think, based on what wife has said, that she will want to deviate from the current parenting plan. However, several people have told me that she will likely change her tune when she realizes that there probably isn't going to be a large settlement. So, that puts me in a difficult spot. I need to do mediation with her one way or the other, and this is point that my attorney thought I should mention.....
If we go through mediation without attorneys, the process will obviously be cheaper, to the tune of roughly 500 bucks for every hour we spend negotiating. So, I could offer my wife my portion of what I would pay in attorney fees, towards a settlement to give to her. She would also be able to retain the money (her mother has loaned her 5K) that she would have to incur in attorney fees. That would equal about 6-10K dollars, nothing to scoff at. Somehow I need to approach her with this, based on the fact that I will be spending the money, regardless if I give it to her or give it to my attorney. my money is already leaving my wallet, no matter who gets it. It would however be beneficial to her, if she was able to keep that money for herself. With that said, I have my terms that I would like to stick to. I don't want to pay child support, and my attorney doesn't think I have to. We have had somewhat similar incomes, until recently, and we have a 50/50 parenting plan. It should be a moot point, by the time a residential benefit was paid back to me for the time I have daughter. Furthermore, the house has zero equity, which is what I have been expressing over and over. I don't want to pay her for "pretend money" that doesn't exist. Wife sees it differently. While she does somewhat agree with the house not having a lot of equity. She sees me being able to live her afterwards as "sticking it to her". I don't really get that, and let me explain. In a normal situation, the bank would hold the house. If wife and I decided to sell, we would split any profit or debt from the sale. In our case, there is none, so we would sell the house and simply walk away with nothing. That is exactly the situation we have. Although, the "bank" just happens to be my Mother. That, albeit is a huge benefit to me in regards to living conditions. I will continue to live here. However, does it really change my wife's role in this split? I mean for example, her BF may provide her with a residence, perhaps her mother will. Is that benefit to her mean I should be compensated? Of course it doesn't. She is benefitting from something that comes afterward. It doesn't make sense to me, morally or ethically. Anyone like to give me some input here? Also, any input in terms of how I can express this to wife. She seems to simply believe that "the family" is screwing her over. I just don't know how to proceed in a healthy, realistic manner. Am I completely off base in my thinking? I know 25 believes so, but I just don't get it! WHY?????
