let's start at the end, shall we?

[KindaHappy1]

And today, the roller coaster takes a dive. I called my boys last night and found out that W was working late, which I don't believe, and the boys were home alone. They are old enough, but I'm sure the just sat on the computer all night.

I texted my wife asking if she could let me know when she will be "working late" so I could be with the boys. I said that I really miss them and it made me sad to think of them home alone. I thanked her and said that I hope she understands. Then about an hour later, I heard for my boy who was still at school. He said W was going to pick him up in a few minutes. We talked for a while and she hadn't shown up. So I called and got her voice mail. I admit, I was pissed because I could be helping take care of these boys.

I left a message asking her to call me stating that I could pick the boys up when needed.

Then I lost it after an hour of no text or call back. I should have given my phone to someone else. I called and left another message. I am so weak! I said that I would appreciate a call back, but if she didn't want to, I was ok with it. Then I went into "fixing/ damage control" mode and I texted her again, telling her that she did a good job at the inservice and I told her it should make my job a bit easier, and I thanked her.

This morning she sent a text saying thanks. and I texted back that it was nice seeing her, but she looked kind of down, and I said that I hope she has a better day.

I didn't sleep well, again, and I know it wears me down. I hate not contacting her and her not contacting me, but I know that it is time to go dark, for my own sanity.