Woke up around 3:30am with that empty, emotional feeling of despair. The reality of the situation is really setting in. I can't help but focus on the history, the things we experienced together, the things that we shared, the drastic change this will make in my daughters life....It's just weird. It's difficult to imagine that after 12 years, she won't be there anymore, not that she has been for close to 10 months now, but it still seems so surreal when I see her or talk to her. She's no longer my wife, and we are no longer are connected. It just baffles me. I know I will have to stay busy, increase my GAL and focus on moving forward. I need to be as positive as possible in my daughters life. At the same time, I want to keep the relationship with STBXW as stable as can be. I miss her. I feel what she is doing is wrong. I hate that our lives are separating, but I need to keep focusing on the positives. I AM a better person than I was during our marriage. Better things will come to me. My life will improve.
A friend was over yesterday. He has been divorced for 2 years, was married for over 15. While he was here, he shared a couple of those "scary" interactions that I dread. His wife recently filed a restraining order on him. It was completely fraudulent, and it sounds like his Ex is a serious wack job. He contested it in court that very morning and got it dismissed. Regardless, it's been 2 years and they are still fighting over things in the court. Not only that, but she phoned him while he was at my house and started in about their parenting plan and demanded that she was taking the kids with her, even though it was his time to have them. They also have a 50/50 parenting plan. He ended up upset, hands shaking and ended the call. he handled himself very well, better than I could have given the situation. He immediately put a call into his lawyer....I'm thinking like, "Geeeez, really? After two years this crap still happens and the emotions are still so sharp?????" Seeing and hearing about things like that, how you can love someone for so many years and then end up at each others throats, just terrifies me. I don't want that....I DREAD that. I need to keep our situation as calm as humanly possible. I need to avoid that at all costs.
