Wife just filed for divorce...furious and hates me

[MagicJack]

I know my anger is an issue. When I first started dating her I punched a wall on a few occasions (it wasn't regular but I know that doesn't make it ok).

I didn't have any angry type reactions for a few years until we were married. Then I broke a few of my cell phones when I got pissed off about her nagging me to have my phone on me all the time since she would call a lot. I would throw them on the ground and saw "there, now I can't answer the phone any more!"

I didn't break anything else until her EA. When I found out about it, I told her to leave and go to her mother's and I felt like I was losing control of everything. There were a few paintings that were love-themed and I broke them and threw them away. I did not do this in front of her, and I know, that doesn't make it ok.

When I found out her EA was still ongoing weeks later and she had left the house and I found emails between her and the other guy still I took her phone and threw it in the sink since it had internet on it and she had lied to me about getting rid of internet on her phone. And yes, I know this was not ok for me to do.

I guess the thing is I have always known it was wrong to hit someone or an animal in anger, a red line that can't be crossed, and I now realize that breaking something out of frustration or anger falls into that same category. Taking action due to anger is always a bad idea.

My W also has anger issues, and she has actually picked up scissors before as if to stab me with them when we would be arguing, and another time she chased me out of the house and threw a book at me because she thought I was looking at "demon information" on the computer.

The difference is that I am aware of what I did, and should never do again to anyone.

I am also a cynical person in a lot of ways, and I need to work on being more accepting of other people in general and not being critical or excluding them from my life.