Not Again?!

[doubledown]

Thanks TT:

I'm going into support mode and dropping plans for confrontation. You make sense and I appeciate your help. She's in very good spirts this week (her first week on the job)and I like that. Although, I know she meets up briefly with OM after work, it's still less time than they spent together before. You're righ about that! So, I'll take that as a positive and keep OM out of my thoughts the best I can.

Spoke with DB coach last night. Went very well and she commended me on my progress and efforts.

I shared with her that 2 nights ago while washing dinner dishes, my wife asked why the boys didn't eat much. I told her that they had snacked quite a bit before dinner because they were starving, but I wanted to wait for W to get home to have dinner. I said that's why it's so improtant for you to get home as soon as you can from work.(that, and it limits her time with OM)

Her response was very interetsing. She brought up a situation from years ago when the kids were just infants and toddlers. My W worked long hours then as well and she would call and ask if the kids had been fed. She would insist that I feed them by a certain time, but my response was that I wasn't hungry yet and I'll feed us all at the same time. I totally wasn't responsive to her needs!(I realize this now)

She reminded me of how furious this made her back then and that she would really struggle with it. She said we just weren't on the same page! Until one day she decided to choose her battles more carefully. She said that she just gave up with me on that issue and that's why our dinner times have been all over the place ever since.

I paused and looked her in the eyes and said: "Really? I had no idea that I had hurt you like that back then. That really must have been hard on you. I'm really sorry for that. I didn't realize how that effected you. I'm sorry about that".

After that, she did a silly side-step hop toward me and said "now we're on the same page". I sensed sarcasm, however.

She then walked back toward a chair and said: "You're realizing alot of things lately".

I take that as a good sign that she is noticing some type of change in me. DB coach says any argument is a goosd thing, but be sure to respond just how I did. Acknowledging her feelings and don't get defensinve.

What do you think? It's the first morsel I've seen with regard to her even thinking or talking about "us" or our relationship at all in quite a while.