But I don't see how making yourself more attractive in general can hurt. It seems like you are saying that we can't focus on the more relevant things, if we also do things to make ourselves more attractive in general. Why does it have to be one or the other and not both?
After BD we're all pretty beat down and have shattered self-esteem. DB'ing says we need to exude PMA and make ourselves into the spouse only a fool would leave, but how do you do that when you have no self-esteem? That's where the thing about making ourselves more attractive comes into play. Working out and adding some muscle, losing weight if we need to, buying new clothes, getting a tan, getting new perfume/ cologne, all of these things have a superficial impact at best on a WAS. But they make us feel better about US. We like what we see in the mirror, we like the looks we get from the opposite sex, and that translates directly into PMA and confidence. It's that PMA and confidence that makes the WAS wonder what's going on. Typically the WAS is unhappy due to all the turmoil inside them, when they see a happy LBS they just don't get it, because walking was supposed to make the WAS happy, not the LBS! This can help the WAS to realize that maybe the LBS isn't the source of all their unhappiness after all.
