Thanks Rick. I realized today that part of what I loved about my wife was that she took care of so many little details. She is currently running the divorce process as quickly and efficiently as she would do our taxes and pay the bills. I am scared to be on my own again, even though I am a manager where I work and know I am capable of doing all of these things.

Today is the day she is going to her lawyer to get the final paperwork to give to me so I can sign it. She wants this over asap and has made it clear once we are divorced she will start looking for someone else who can meet all of her needs.

She had asked me a week ago if we could still be friends, and yesterday I told her I would like to be her friend (my DB coach recommended this). I asked her what she thought that friendship would mean and she said "not much" since apparently we never enjoyed any of the same things together and she always had a bad time with me. The negativity I am getting from her and the way she is looking back and describing every part of our marriage and relationship as awful is really the worst part of it. Even a few weeks ago I took her on a date to the lake and I thought she had a nice time, but she apparently didn't as of now.

I did tell her on the phone that she was right about my anger, and that I couldn't keep going on like that. She said it sounded like growth, but didn't seem interested and I didn't push it too much.

I am taking night classes to get a better job, and am going to stick with those and spend time with friends. I realized since I married so young and we were together since we were 18 that my identity was really tied up in her during this time. I am going to try to make friends again and get more involved in things and build more of a life for myself.

T 10 years, M 4 years, both 28 years old
7/3/2013 - W wanted D, we attempted to reconcile
7/20/2013 - discovered W's EA, attempted to reconcile
8/24/2013 - W told me she wanted D, filed papers