Attraction is in the eye of the beholder. and most times it's in the mind of the beholder. It's not usually physical appearance so much as an aura, it comes from inside, the IT factor.

So you become the best you you can be and the S may or may not be attracted. We have to remember that there is a history with the S, usually one that was hurtful. They have to get over that before they ever look our way again. SM, you could look like and "be" George Clooney but if your wife has been hurt deeply too many times, you're toast.

So be as attractive as you want to be or can be, just have no expectations of it changing the heart of your spouse. It can't hurt, no one likes to be with an uninteresting slob.

Originally Posted By: SM
The balance is tricky though. How do yoi not get so confident, so comfortable with yourself, and so optimistic for your future, without closing the door om your marriage. I think that is a fear that we lbs have. We want our marriage and want our family and so dont want to be divorcees, that we are afraid of gaining independence and actually rnjoying it! That seems to be how so many stories end.


Would you really hold yourself back from having a great life to remain married to a woman who doesn't want to be married to you?

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss