Like you said, OP is almost always a step down, it's one of the mysteries of WAS affairs. Seems that the only selling point that really matters to a WAS is that the new OP is not the LBS.
And they need to feel in control and loved!! If they are the prettiest, the best educated the richest and so on compared to OM/OW they get the feeling of control out of this. At the same time OM/OW feels so lucky scoring out of their normal league and because of this they will adore, admire and love to the death – all the things that LBH properly didn’t do! Just my own pocket philosophy!
T, you have been adviced so many times to take a break. Stay on the board but leave W be W for now! Do your house and do GAL you’re a$$ off! Go on a date but as adviced – don’t go looking for and R. Make up for the years lost in your 20s - Also just my opinion!
F
Me:44 W:43 D7, D5 (S11 from other R)
T: 8y - not M ILYB: 8. Mar 2013 W moved: 1. Aug 2013 LRT: 20. Aug 2013 _______________________________ Do or do not – there’s no try.
In a way i was always punching above my weight with my W. She is a 8.5 or a 9 on a good day. I'm 7-8.
This is negative self talk. Their was a reason why she chose to marry you and it was not because you were below her.
Quote:
OM is maybe 5 with a paper bag over his head.
I know this feels good to say and I lol'd... however comparing ourselves to OM is not helpful to us. Keep working on you T1, be the most awesome T1 their is. Keep your focus on the work in front of you.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
I was going to reply but I thought it's best not to especially after what she called me. The way she feels about me is the way I feel about her.
Please don't acknowledge her remarks.
For all you know, she has fake accounts watching your FB.
She tells you how wrong you are, but she thinks it's perfectly fine to put a picture of her and OM up for the world to see. I guarantee you she would be ready to file papers if she heard you even talked to another woman. Just like she responded when your mother kept the kids while you were at work that time.
Things will never be equal in her world. What is fine for her to do.....does not apply to you, in her way of thinking.
The best way to handle it is to stop looking at her FB and don't reply to her messages. Don't give her the satisfaction that it bothers you....and certainly not let her know you went under a false name to take a look.
You are better, higher, and deserve much more.
Thanks Sandi, I really do feel like I deserve more.
I agree that things well never be equal in her world. She needs help of the professional kind.
I spoke to my brother briefly about what is happening right now. He said with what he has seen me do over the last 14 months I am the most patient, caring and giving separated husband he's ever seen (in a good way) and I should be proud of that. I thanked him for that. I said I believe I have followed the right path but now I need to put my M over here (gesture to the side) and get on with my life, if I need to look at it at some point again I will.
I will stop looking at Facebook, I haven't looked at hers for ages. I told my brother tonight that no matter what he sees, I don't want to know.
Obviously the thought of OM is horrible but it has done a few things for me strangely enough. I feel like I can leave the M and get on with life until something really changes, not hanging on waiting for scraps. I also look in the mirror and think, you handsome ba5tard you!
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
Like you said, OP is almost always a step down, it's one of the mysteries of WAS affairs. Seems that the only selling point that really matters to a WAS is that the new OP is not the LBS.
And they need to feel in control and loved!! If they are the prettiest, the best educated the richest and so on compared to OM/OW they get the feeling of control out of this. At the same time OM/OW feels so lucky scoring out of their normal league and because of this they will adore, admire and love to the death – all the things that LBH properly didn’t do! Just my own pocket philosophy!
Probably onto something there F.
Originally Posted By: Fartiltre
T, you have been adviced so many times to take a break. Stay on the board but leave W be W for now! Do your house and do GAL you’re a$$ off! Go on a date but as adviced – don’t go looking for and R. Make up for the years lost in your 20s - Also just my opinion!
F
I'm not going to rush into anything but I'm thinking about it (dating).
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
In a way i was always punching above my weight with my W. She is a 8.5 or a 9 on a good day. I'm 7-8.
This is negative self talk. Their was a reason why she chose to marry you and it was not because you were below her.
It is negative, it doesn't effect me in anyway but I suppose I don't need to do it.
Originally Posted By: subguy
Quote:
OM is maybe 5 with a paper bag over his head.
I know this feels good to say and I lol'd... however comparing ourselves to OM is not helpful to us. Keep working on you T1, be the most awesome T1 their is. Keep your focus on the work in front of you.
Yes I agree. I don't want a tattoo sleeve and I don't to get that big nor do I have the time to. He is there to serve a purpose right now that is all.
Something that stuck out in her tirade was something along the lines of "even if it doesn't work out between us (her and OM) blah blah". Strange thing to say, not a lot of confidence there (I know, put my mind reading hat down).
I will still work on me, I'm the best I've ever been and can still be much better.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
I just got a friends request on FB from W's, sister's BF. He and W have never got on but W and sisters are best friends. He's had two years to send me a friends request but waits until now.
Is he just being nosy or does he want play the I hate T1000's W game?
If I add him then that is against W, I don't care what she thinks but I don't want to be petty. I couldn't care less about him, he's a bit of a d1ck.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
Leave the W out of it. Add him if you want, but if he is a d1ck and y'all aren't friends then why add him. The decision should not be based on W at all
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
I just got a friends request on FB from W's, sister's BF. He and W have never got on but W and sisters are best friends. He's had two years to send me a friends request but waits until now.
Is he just being nosy or does he want play the I hate T1000's W game?
If I add him then that is against W, I don't care what she thinks but I don't want to be petty. I couldn't care less about him, he's a bit of a d1ck.
Why would you accept a friend request from someone who isn't a friend???
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
In a way i was always punching above my weight with my W. She is a 8.5 or a 9 on a good day. I'm 7-8. OM is maybe 5 with a paper bag over his head.
<snicker>
Originally Posted By: Fartiltre
And they need to feel in control and loved!! If they are the prettiest, the best educated the richest and so on compared to OM/OW they get the feeling of control out of this. At the same time OM/OW feels so lucky scoring out of their normal league and because of this they will adore, admire and love to the death – all the things that LBH properly didn’t do!
I've never heard this take, but it makes a lot of sense. The WAS wants to feel adored and if they reach way down into the dregs then it's an easy made-to-order admirer. It's never really made sense to me why the WAS always seems to "trade down" with the OP compared to the LBS, but you may be onto something here.
The WAS wants to feel adored and if they reach way down into the dregs then it's an easy made-to-order admirer. It's never really made sense to me why the WAS always seems to "trade down" with the OP compared to the LBS, but you may be onto something here.
Would that explain why my H has taken up with someone who bears a resemblance to his XW1?
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
