Many WAS's bring up the fact that they can't forget what happened before, etc. And many really try to deal with the issues on their own but not in a way that the LBS realizes is very serious. Not in every case, but sometimes.
The LBS can change as much as they want, but it takes "acceptance" and "forgiveness" and "understanding" from the WAS to lower the walls they've built up to even see the LBS as attractive on all levels (physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.)
Therefore it goes beyond just "attraction".
I am sure that what you are saying is true. Nothing we do to improve ourselves has any guarantee to make any difference at all in our situation with our was. But I don't see how making yourself more attractive in general can hurt. It seems like you are saying that we can't focus on the more relevant things, if we also do things to make ourselves more attractive in general. Why does it have to be one or the other and not both?
Me-45 W-44 T-7 years M-3 years (4th anniversary July 13, but we're separated) Kids from previous relationships (s14 d16 mine, s23, s24 hers)
