Well, what a difference a day makes. The family W has been staying with has been unbelievably kind and gracious to her; more so than I can believe sometimes.

The husband just finally revealed to me that W has been leaving at night, dumping my step-kids on them, and disappearing to the "store" and other things. She doesn't even ask if it's OK, just disappears. She even left them alone several times - a just turned 10 year old (who is very immature) and a 5 year old.

Unfortunately, this was the final piece of evidence that was missing - because up until this point, my belief was that there wasn't significant time being spent together.

I took some time to seek the counsel of friends, spent some time considering, and called and offered to sign W's dissolution. It's bittersweet. I had the most fantastic day today, and I was really starting to detach - even after just 3.5 weeks. My stomach was punched for awhile with this news, but I'm back to feeling better.

However, I'm done at this point. What I discovered from DBing in my first marriage is I'm not always right and I had to make several changes. My efforts failed, but the results ended up in my XW and I having a great co-parenting relationship, and she respects me and really believes in me as a person. It also proved to me that what XW said about me wasn't nearly as true as she thought it to be.

I don't care if this follows the rules, but I called W, told her I felt sad and betrayed, and with the evidence of the affair, I would sign her dissolution. Maybe it isn't the entirely right way to handle, but I don't share my wife. She responded with "Whatever". Then she said, "Everything you've been doing (DBing) for the last 6 weeks has been an act!"

I ended it with this: "Everything about me for the last 6 weeks has been the most genuine and pure thing I've ever done; while you spun a web of lies that you didn't even bother to cover up. You will never take that away from me; don't say it again. You have what you've wanted. Good bye"

And with that, ends my saga. I appreciate all those who have given comments and advice on my short thread; good luck to all of you!