What we each did wrong that hurt our marriage

[truelovewaits]

I love this thread. I recently apologized to my ex shortly after our divorce for my contribution. Seeing the reality so clearly is tough as I wish I had such knowledge while we were together. Marriage is an active relationship, it is an activity that requires constant work and reflection and adaptation. Above all it takes communication and compromise.

My ex didn't really like to compromise. My ex handled our distance wrong and found her needs in the arms of another. I understand it all. At the end of the day it takes compromise and maturity to work through things as a team. It takes a strong sense of reality. It takes the will of two people.

I was hurt and too weak to realize that when my ex left was the time I needed to be strong and step up. It was the time I had to prove our love was worth fighting for. Instead I made the mistake many do as I was hurt and focused on my pain and anger rather than seeing her actions as a cry for help, as an escape.

It is a lesson to us all and I believe we all will be better partners in the future. Those of us that were willing to work beyond infidelity though can honestly say we have a strong sense of what marriage and commitment mean. We are all willing to look beyond such things.

Regardless, I know I handled it wrong. Next time, well there won't be a next time. I won't allow such a thing to ever progress like this again. Hindsight is 20/20.