"Your criticisms of her were probably more painful than a smack across the face."
Brilliant. I can tell you, from my W's point of view, this rings true. From what she told me, especially right after moving out, when she was very angry. She was very hurt, for a very long time, by my tone, comments, etc.
I've heard from some other marriage expert (can't remember where - on the radio years ago) That contempt is one thing no M can withstand. My anger led to contempt.
