"My wife used to be overweight and I would get controlling with her diet. I saw her as not making an effort here."
Really bad on your part.
"With anger I don't scream or yell a lot but I break things or hit walls when I'm pissed."
This is extremely serious. I'm surprised you didn't disclose this earlier.
"I got mad and said "ok" and threw my phone out the window. I did that with two separate phones, both cheap."
Doesn't matter how much they cost. It was very immature.
"When I found out about her EA I kicked her out of the house and ripped up a few of her paintings."
Wow you really know how to hurt her.
"When I found out a few weeks later she had talked to one of these guys again after she said she wouldn't, I threw her phone in the sink and turned on the water."
Immature again.
"I've never hit her though,"
And you think she should stay with you because of it?
"and there was a period of several years where I broke nothing."
You must be so proud.
"I have also sworn at her a few times during arguments, usually when I get scared and panic. "
So you get scared and take it out on someone else. Great way to handle stress.
I'm surprised you are surprised that your W left you. Sorry but those are pretty intense things you've done. I can see why she's fast tracking this. She sees a way out of an abusive relationship (yes it's abuse even if you didn't physically beat her) and is taking it.
What EXACTLY have you been doing so far to show you've changed?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
